What to Do When a Parent Dies: A Step-by-Step Guide

The immediate period after a parent's death involves a handful of time-sensitive decisions. Most of what needs to happen in the first two days is logistical, not legal. Give yourself permission to handle only what's essential right now.

• Obtain the death certificate. The funeral home typically files for it. Order 10-15 certified copies — you'll need them for banks, government agencies, life insurance claims, pension providers, and the DMV. They're difficult to get later if you run short.
• Notify immediate family. Reach the people who need to know directly. Broader notifications — friends, extended family, employers — can wait a day or two.
• Arrange disposition. If your parent had a pre-arranged funeral plan, locate those documents. If not, contact a funeral home to discuss options. Cremation or burial decisions typically need to be made within 24-72 hours.
• Locate key documents. Search for a will, any trust documents, a letter of instruction, insurance policies, and financial account information. Check a home safe, filing cabinet, or safe deposit box. If documents can't be found, contact the parent's attorney if known.
• Secure the home and valuables. If the home will be vacant, consider changing the locks, notifying trusted neighbors, canceling any scheduled deliveries or mail-forwarding that could signal an empty property, and noting the condition of any valuables.

Once the immediate decisions are made, the next two weeks are about notification — alerting institutions that need to update their records, and beginning to understand what assets and liabilities the estate involves.

• Social Security Administration. Call 1-800-772-1213 to notify SSA of the death. If your parent was receiving benefits, any payment received after the month of death must be returned. If you may be eligible for survivor benefits, ask about the process. Surviving spouses and dependent children may qualify.
• Employer and pension providers. If your parent was still working or receiving a pension, notify the employer's HR department and the pension administrator. Ask about any survivor or continuation-of-benefits provisions.
• Life insurance companies. Contact each insurer and request claim forms. You'll need a certified copy of the death certificate for each claim. Proceed quickly — some policies have claim deadlines.
• Bank accounts. Notify the bank, but before taking any action, ask about beneficiary designations. Accounts with a payable-on-death (POD) or transfer-on-death (TOD) beneficiary may pass directly to that beneficiary outside of probate. Don't close accounts until you understand how they're titled.
• Vehicles. Notify the DMV and auto insurance carrier. Ask about the process for transferring title. In New Mexico, vehicle title transfers are handled through the Motor Vehicle Division.
• Begin a financial inventory. Go through mail — physical and email if you have access — to identify accounts, subscriptions, debts, and automatic payments. Check any safe deposit box. The goal is to understand the full picture of what the estate includes.

Within the first month, the focus shifts from notification to administration. This is when the legal process of settling the estate begins in earnest.

• Meet with a probate or estate planning attorney. Even if there is a will, it does not automatically transfer assets. Depending on what the estate includes, a formal probate process may be required. An attorney can assess the situation quickly and tell you what you're dealing with. Most offer free or low-cost initial consultations.
• Notify Social Security of any overpayment. If Social Security benefits were deposited after the month of death, those funds must be returned. The bank can assist with this, and SSA will provide instructions.
• Forward mail. Set up mail forwarding from your parent's address to an administrator's address. This ensures you receive bills, financial statements, and any correspondence related to the estate.
• Continue paying ongoing bills. Until the estate is formally settled, ongoing expenses — mortgage, utilities, HOA fees, property insurance — need to be paid to protect the estate's assets. These expenses are ultimately reimbursable from the estate.
• Inherited real property. If there is real estate in the estate, decisions about what to do with it need to begin now. Carrying costs add up, and probate courts may require a showing that the property is being managed appropriately.
• New Mexico: Small Estate Affidavit. If the estate has personal property (not real estate) valued under $50,000, New Mexico allows a simplified transfer process using a Small Estate Affidavit — no probate court required. Ask an attorney whether this applies to your situation.

Most estates take six to twelve months to settle. Complex ones — with real property in multiple states, significant assets, or family disputes — can take two to three years. Here's what the longer arc looks like.

• File the deceased's final income tax return. This is due April 15 of the year following death, just like any other individual return. The executor or personal representative signs as the filer. If a refund is owed, it becomes part of the estate.
• Estate tax returns. Federal estate tax applies only to estates exceeding $13.61 million (as of 2024). New Mexico has no state estate tax. If the estate is below the federal threshold — as most are — no estate tax return is required.
• Estate income tax. If the estate generates income during administration (from rent, dividends, interest, or a business), a separate estate income tax return (Form 1041) may be required. An accountant familiar with estate tax can advise.
• Close the estate. Once all debts are paid, tax returns are filed, and assets are distributed, the personal representative files a final accounting with the probate court to formally close the estate. This is the last legal step.
• Update your own estate plan. A parent's death is a natural moment to review your own documents — will, trust, powers of attorney, beneficiary designations on your own accounts. It's easy to delay, and easy to regret.

Related Resources